


Some Reading Required

by Noodlealto



Category: Boyfriend (Band), VIXX
Genre: Jung Taekwoon | Leo and Lee Jaehwan | Ken are best friends, Jung Taekwoon | Leo is bad at feelings, M/M, Soulmate AU, mentions of drinking and anxiety, this is a crackship and a half lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:48:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24255391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noodlealto/pseuds/Noodlealto
Summary: At the young age of five, every child is given a book. Every book is unique to its owner and cannot be traded or destroyed. It keeps you updated on the life of your soulmate until the day you meet them.Despite not yet knowing what all that entails, Jung Taekwoon is pretty sure he doesn't want his.
Relationships: Cha Hakyeon | N/Kim Wonshik | Ravi, Jo Kwangmin/Jung Taekwoon | Leo, Jo Youngmin/Lee Jaehwan | Ken
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	Some Reading Required

Friday.

That’s what today is.

It’s not any different than the other days at school, Taekwoon thinks. But the officials are trying to convince everyone it is. The only thing that makes today “special” is that Taekwoon is getting his soulmate book. What’s so special about this book, Taekwoon will never understand. He stares at his feet awkwardly as the officials go into the office to talk to his parents.

He briefly considers leaving. But Taekwoon isn’t the type to cause trouble-- he never has been. So he sits and waits patiently.

After a few minutes, the officials finally come out with a neatly wrapped package. Taekwoon doesn’t make eye contact with them.

“Here, this is yours now.” The lady smiles at him gently, offering the book to him. Taekwoon closes his fists tighter. The lady’s smile falls a bit. “Here, I’ll open the package for you.”

And she does. The book is fairly average sized-- definitely too big for his small hands. The intense red cover is unpleasant on the eyes, to say the least. The book is bound with a golden spine, and the light reflecting off of it makes him feel queasy.

The official tries to hand it to him again. Taekwoon insists she takes it back.

“Sweetie, it’s yours, take it.” She sounds exasperated. Taekwoon shakes his head again; but this does not discourage her. When she notices his hands are closed into tight fists, she sets the book in his lap.

It lands with a loud  _ thud  _ when Taekwoon stands up. He and the officials wince visibly; and Taekwoon takes the opportunity to retreat back to his classroom before they can stop him.

\------

It’s not until five years later, at ten years old, when Taekwoon’s parents try to give him his book again.

This time he takes it and looks at the horrible red cover wordlessly. His parents don’t expect him to reply, and he nods in thanks before disappearing with the book into his room.

The book looks just like he remembers, with its putrid red colour and shiny gold binding. Five years have passed, and Taekwoon doesn’t want the book any more than he did before.

But it doesn’t stop him from being curious. 

So he opens the book. It’s not at all what he expects. He’d heard stories of extravagant images that explode forth from the page with such colour and intensity that you could get lost in it for hours. But his wasn’t.

Unlike what he had imagined, the pictures were small and simplistic, black and white. Except for one thing; there was a splash of colour over one of the people in the image, and he could only logically assume that that person was supposed to be his soulmate. There wasn’t much to the book yet-- just simple sketches of his soulmates days passing by.

_ They must be so young. _

The idea made Taekwoon shiver at the idea. He was pretty okay with younger kids, but the idea that his soulmate was so much younger made his stomach churn. He  _ definitely  _ didn’t want to meet them any time soon.

Feeling discontent with how little his search had yielded, he flipped to the last page and paused, book half closed, as he spotted something that was clearly not meant to be on the slightly yellowed pages. In crayon and hard to read handwriting, was written a very large “ _ HELLO :) _ ”.

He slammed the book closed when an uncomfortable warm feeling began to spread through his chest.

\------

Despite his best attempts to ignore the slight ache in his chest, his curiosity would sometimes lead his hand to the leather cover. He would never open it, but the urge was there.

And today he was going to give in to it.

The pictures were still in their simple doodle style, but the images depicted much more interesting activities. It only made sense, his soulmate had gotten older, just as Taekwoon had. The thought unnerved him- but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why.

For an hour Taekwoon silently observed the pages, taking in every detail. Some of the tiny figures were beginning to look familiar, and he could only assume they must be family or close friends. No one had faces, so it was hard to tell.

Without realizing, Taekwoon had begun to enjoy searching for the small colourful figure. It was interesting deciphering what he was doing in the small doodle-like pictures. Almost absentmindedly, he flipped back to the page that wasn’t new to him. The large “HELLO :)” was still written there, and Taekwoon’s lips curled up into a small smile. Curiously, he reached forward and ran his finger over the word.

Taekwoon closed his eyes almost instinctively, and  _ swore  _ he could  _ almost  _ feel the crayon beneath his finger tips. Focusing in on that feeling, he felt his surroundings shift to that of a classroom. The seat was uncomfortable and hard, but it was hardly on his mind as he stared exactly at the inside of the book-- not his-- but his  _ soulmate’s.  _ The book was blurred out, and he couldn’t make out any of the pictures or even the colour, but Taekwoon just  _ knew _ . He could practically feel his soulmate’s excitement rolling off of them in waves as they stared at the new object, a link to the rest of their life.

And despite the warnings everyone had given them, they reached into their bag, and pulled out a thick purple crayon with the label ripped off. With no hesitation, they wrote “ _ HELLO :)”  _ in their obnoxious handwriting.

Taekwoon was nearly pulled out of the daydream by a voice; one he didn’t recognize in the slightest.

_ “...ah, I told you not to write in your book. You know the rules, I’m going to have to take it away since you can’t handle having it with you right now. You’ll have it at the end of the day.” _

Taekwoon couldn’t help but feel small-- sad- even at the turn of events as the book disappeared from his sight.

_ “But miss… what if… how will they find me if they don’t know what I write like?” _

The voice was so quiet. So innocent. Taekwoon’s heart ached at how innocent it sounded.

_ “They’ll just know.” _

Taekwoon’s breath came out in ragged gasps, as if he had just breached the surface of a lake. He flipped away from the page quickly, feeling nauseous at the overflow of emotions that weren’t entirely his.

After a few minutes of staring at the same page (which had a small image of his soulmate laying in bed looking at their own book), he licked his lips nervously, and turned to the latest page that had formed. As he opened to it, the page began to fill with new images, ones of his soulmate clutching their chest and clinging to their book. The whole scene screamed  _ distress  _ and Taekwoon  _ hated _ it. Ready to close the book and not look at it again for another few years, he takes his thumb out of the crease of the book and starts to shut it when the distinct sound of a pencil scratching on paper catches his attention. He immediately opens the book, and is shocked at what he sees.

_ Did you feel it too? _

Taekwoon’s breath hitches painfully. This isn’t real. This doesn’t happen. At least, he thinks it doesn’t; but he can’t be too sure, since he’s never bothered to read up on the history of soulmate books.

He grabs the black pen from his desk and taps it against the page anxiously, contemplating a reply.

He ends up panicking and crossing out what his soulmate has written instead.

\-------

His parents ask-- no, beg-- Taekwoon to pursue something. Anything. And they’ll pay for it.

So he joins the art club and the school chorus. They’re both free, and both things that have piqued his interest at one time or another. He can sing well enough, and thinks that maybe he’d make a career out of it, if he could someday get over his stage fright.

Despite his introverted nature, Taekwoon manages to make a friend. He does it on accident, really. He meets Jaehwan in the school chorus. Jaehwan is a lot of things that Taekwoon is not. Like loud. And extroverted. To say he’s overwhelming would be an understatement-- but Taekwoon sticks with him. Jaehwan hasn’t decided that Taekwoon is too weird to be friends with yet.

Jaehwan does most of the talking while Taekwoon silently acknowledges him. Sometimes this can lead to awkward conversations.

“What does your book look like?” Jaehwan asks on a particularly slow conversation day between the two of them. Taekwoon winces internally and curls up more in his bean bag chair. The book in his backpack feels suddenly like a magnet, and all Taekwoon wants to do is throw the dumb thing out the window.

“Don’t have one.” Is what he actually follows up with.

“I don’t believe that. You can’t just  _ not _ have a book.”

“You don’t know that.”

Jaehwan rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you want me to see it?”

“I just wish I didn’t have one. It’s ugly anyway; I can barely stand looking at it.” Taekwoon sighs and unzips his backpack, knowing Jaehwan is stubborn and won’t give up that easily. Jaehwan leans closer eagerly, biting his lip. The book feels heavy in Taekwoon’s hands, and he almost shoves it back into his bag right away. “Here.”

Silence.

Jaehwan is never silent.

“My book looks just like this!”

“That’s not possible.”

“No really, let me get my book.” Jaehwan nearly breaks the zipper of his backpack in his eagerness to pull it out.

And it does.

Jaehwan’s book is completely identical.

Well. Not completely. The gold binding on Taekwoon’s book is silver on Jaehwan’s, but the book itself is the same putrid red colour.

He hates it.

He already hated his book, but this makes him hate it  _ more.  _ Not only was he forced to have it, now it wasn’t even unique, like it was promised to be.

It pissed him off.

“I have to go.”

But he didn’t.

“Uh, wait, but--” Jaehwan stuttered awkwardly, grasping at straws to make Taekwoon stay. “Um, okay, I guess, but, your book--”

“Keep it.”

Taekwoon didn’t mean to sound so cold, and he definitely felt guilty about it, but he didn’t want to be near Jaehwan or the horrible red books right now.

Or maybe not ever.

\-----

But it’s not that easy. At least not for the book part. The damn thing finds itself back on Taekwoon’s desk three days later, and he has to resist the very strong urge to throw it out the window. Apparently Jaehwan had dropped it off, asked how Taekwoon was doing, and politely declined the dinner Taekwoon’s parents had offered him.

It made Taekwoon feel worse.

Jaehwan may not be the most ideal person in the world for someone like Taekwoon, but he had never given Taekwoon a reason to dislike him, and was nothing if not understanding. He knew Taekwoon needed his space.

Taekwoon’s normal strategy at times like this was to shut himself in- pretend the world outside didn’t exist. It had never failed him.

Until now.

He glances at his desk, the book still sitting there, taking up space.

_ Maybe you should open it. _

He shakes his head.  _ Don’t wanna. _

But he does. The book feels warm in his hands. He flips open to the page, his hands trembling. Very few pages have been added since he last looked-- so he opts to ignore them in favor of looking at the pen scratches from before. His soulmate’s handwriting had gotten much more legible since the initial “hello”, but it was still big and full of character. Taekwoon felt a pang of guilt hit him upon remembering how quickly he had crossed it out. He finds his fingers drifting across the dark scratches in the pages, and his eyes flutter shut almost subconsciously.

_ Pain. _

That’s his immediate reaction. Not a physical pain so much as  _ emotional.  _ His heart aches as visions of his soulmate fade in and out of his vision. Taekwoon sees  _ legs.  _ Long and thin. A book is nestled between them, the images blurred out and Taekwoon strains to see them. His forehead twinges and he gasps in pain, forcefully yanking himself out of the daydream.

His head hurts and he’s dizzy, everything is spinning. Taekwoon is only brought back by the soft sound of a pen scratching on paper. His soulmate is writing.

_ Why are you hurting? _

Taekwoon’s lip trembles while he reads the simple sentence over and over and over. It’s so short, so straight forward. So undemanding, but it reduces Taekwoon to tears. He feels  _ small.  _ All he wants is to get rid of the book, but his hands only grip it tighter. His hand reaches aimlessly for a desk, slowly travelling further until he finds what he’s looking for.

_ Stop writing in your damn book. _

And then he closes it.

\-----

He’s starting to feel unbearably guilty for avoiding Jaehwan. It’s not the other’s fault-- it’s not like he got to choose his book. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less. Taekwoon’s phone vibrates again, this time violently so.

**_[Text from Jaehwan]_ **

_ Dude!! Okay i know you’re mad but i think i just discovered something awesome!!!! _

Despite how bitter he was, Taekwoon can’t help but be intrigued.

**_Taekwoon_ **

_ … _

_ What is it? _

The three dots that appeared on the screen appeared and disappeared for minutes at a time. It made Taekwoon suddenly feel incredibly nervous. What if he and Jaehwan had the same soulmate? It’s not like Taekwoon wanted one in the first place, but he  _ especially  _ didn’t want one if he had to  _ share. _

**_Jaehwan_ **

_ I think our soulmates are siblings _

Taekwoon let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He was sure many people had siblings, but their books didn’t look alike at all. He tossed his phone into his blankets, feeling frustrated on how the world was treating him. But his phone vibrated again.

**_Jaehwan_ **

_ Twins _

_ I think they’re twins _

_ Identical twins _

_ That’s why the books are the same with minor differences _

The realization hit Taekwoon like a tsunami.

_ Twins. _

His soulmate was a twin. It made so much sense. The realization causes an odd sense of relief to wash over him.

A twin. He and Jaehwan have twin soulmates.

Holy shit.

Anyone else might think them being friends would be fate, but Taekwoon refuses to believe it was anything other than chance.  _ Anyone _ could have spilled kool-aid all over his chorus music.

Actually, no. It probably could have only been Jaehwan.

Taekwoon sighs softly runs a hand through his hair. He needs to apologize to Jaehwan. And reconsider his view on his book.

Baby steps, though.

\-----

At this point, Taekwoon is starting to think he may never meet his soulmate. And that’s okay.

Even though he feels a pain in his chest at the thought, he’s thinks it’s okay.

He definitely doesn’t want the closeness that he’s seen his other’s achieve. He definitely doesn’t want to meet someone who moves as his second half so naturally it’s almost magic. And he  _ definitely  _ doesn’t need or want anyone to understand him the way he so desperately wants to be.

Nope.

A small sound escapes his throat, and Taekwoon doesn’t even realize he’s on the verge of tears. Almost instinctively, Taekwoon glances at the book. _ His _ book. Sitting on the desk, right where he left it. The natural urge to hold it is nearly overwhelming-- Taekwoon almost gives in.

But halfway to reaching for it, his phone vibrates. His hand drops with a hard  _ thud  _ on his bedsheets.

It’s Jaehwan.

Jaehwan has been extensively searching. He’s not as good at hiding his feelings as Taekwoon is. Taekwoon knows he’s lonely, and since they’re inexplicably bound by this whole soulmate business, Jaehwan keeps him updated on anything he finds regarding the potential finding of their soulmates.

**_Jaehwan_ **

_ Hey _

_ You wanna go out for drinks? _

_ I wanna see some live music _

_ Since you won’t perform live with me >> _

**_Taekwoon_ **

_ And I have a very legitimate reason to not do that. _

**_Jaehwan_ **

_ You won’t get over ur stagefright if u don’t try _

**_Taekwoon_ **

_ I think I’ll just leave the extravagant to you. _

_ Where and what time do you want to meet? _

**_Jaehwan_ **

_ Tonight @8 _

_ Meet me at the fancy lil bar thingy that just opened _

**_Taekwoon_ **

_ See you then. _

Taekwoon flops against the bed with a hard  _ thump. _ He hates going out. Jaehwan knows that. But maybe it would be good for him. These past few days have felt more exhausting than usual, and the attraction to his book seems to have grown exponentially. The cursed object is always in his mind, invading his thoughts, inviting him to open it. He’s not sure what it means.

He’s not sure he wants to know.

\--------

The bar is packed, for a Monday night. It makes Taekwoon anxious, and almost on instinct, his hands find themselves tucked into his sleeves. Jaehwan is standing close to him, cutting a path through the crowd. Taekwoon is grateful that he’s not here alone. He finds out a few minutes later that the crowd is actually here to watch a handful of fairly popular performers, compared to the out of garage bands you never hear of. It makes Taekwoon relax a bit, knowing that at least he will be rewarded for going out of his comfort zone. He’d like to perform in front of his own fans someday, he thinks. But getting on stage is scary.

Minutes later, Jaehwan gets them both drinks. Jaehwan has already drained two, while Taekwoon sips his one, hoping to soothe his frayed nerves. The crowd has only gotten thicker, and being separated from Jaehwan was much scarier than he had originally anticipated. He can hear that Jaehwan is talking to him animatedly, but pays no mind to the details of whatever he happens to be talking about.

\--------

Taekwoon’s anxiety finally takes a break, and he is able to relax enough to finally enjoy some of the performers. None of them are anything to write home about, but he enjoys them nonetheless.

He applauds the artists absentmindedly, feeling his mind go slightly numb from the one drink he consumed earlier. He’s only startled from his tipsy stupor by the host’s obnoxiously loud announcement of the final act. Taekwoon isn’t sure why, but he feels his heart leap, a wave of warm nausea washing over him. His eyes are heavy as he lifts them to the stage. A young man approaches the mic nervously, and the host offers him a smile. In response, the younger man adjusts the mic awkwardly and shuffles his feet before grabbing the microphone stand.

"Sorry," he starts, his voice sounding exactly as Taekwoon would have guessed. "I lost my brother backstage a couple minutes ago so I'm waiting for him to come up so we can perform."

The crowd offers him a small laugh and he visibly relaxes. A couple more minutes pass, and the young man swirls the mic cord around his finger.

"Ack!! Sorry, sorry! I thought we were  _ later _ ." Another voice is finally heard from the stage, and the disinterested crowd perks up instantly.

"Kwangmin, we're the last act. You knew that when we entered." The first man sighs exasperatedly, but doesn't seem to actually be upset.

When "Kwangmin" enters the stage, Taekwoon thinks he's going to be sick.

They're twins.

_ Identical  _ twins.

The plastic cup slips out of Taekwoon's hand, but hardly registers the drink splashing all over his leg, or the weird stares the people nearby are giving him. The twins begin to sing-- or rather, the first one sings while the second plays a piano accompaniment and sings harmony notes.

Taekwoon mindlessly shuffles forward, ignoring the rude protests other bystanders mutter to him. In this moment, there was only him; him and the twins on stage.

His venture is cut short by the more persistent bar-goers, who refuse to move to make room for Taekwoon's slim frame.

It's over too soon. The twins are bowing and the crowd is cheering, some female attendees going as far as to cat call the siblings. Bodies are shuffling. Everyone is bumping him. His stupor is broken, and now he's panicking.

Where is he?

Where's Jaehwan?

The bar is spinning and Taekwoon feels sicker than ever. The couple of drinks he consumed threaten to come back up, and he tightens the grip on his sleeves, effectively ripping them open. He can feel his heart beating hard, his breath quickening, the black speckles peeking in at the edge of his vision.

"Hey." There's a soft hand on his shoulder. "Hey, are you okay? You look really ill. Here, come over here and sit."

Taekwoon doesn't have time to process the request and absently follow the strangers directions. He finds himself planted in a worn padded seat close to the bar counter.

"Wonshikkie, some water please?"

The water helps clear Taekwoon's mind, but his hands are still trembling. He finally looks up at the kind stranger, forcing himself to maintain eye contact.

"Fancy the twins, huh? They're a new act here. They're cute-- and definitely have potential." The stranger chuckles, his dark cheeks pulled back into a bright smile. Taekwoon offers him a soft noise in reply. The man has silver hair, which makes his skin even darker in contrast. His eyes are soft and round, and his wrists are dressed in multiple colourful bangles and bracelets.

"I'm Hakyeon." He says. "You looked pretty sick when I saw you amongst the crowd."

The bartender shoots him a look and snorts. In response, Hakyeon rolls his eyes.

"Okay, when  _ Wonshikkie  _ saw you in the crowd. But he can't leave the bar. Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm Taekwoon." Taekwoon replies lamely, not even processing how delayed the answer might be.

Hakyeon smiles patiently. "Well, Taekwoon, you certainly look a lot better. Did you come here with anyone? Are you driving? I'll be driving you home if that's the case. You don't seem well enough to drive."

"Jaehwan." Is all Taekwoon says, suddenly panicked again and looking around. "Where is he?"

"Honey, I don't know. What does he look like?"

"He's…" Taekwoon furrows his brows, trying to remember just what makes Jaehwan distinct. "He's… he's got a big nose." Taekwoon holds his hand out to demonstrate just how big he thinks Jaehwan's nose is. "And… he has light brown hair. He's wearing a red sweater."

"Let me talk to Wonshikkie, okay? He might have seen him." Hakyeon ruffles Taekwoon's hair a bit before disappearing behind bar top. The bartender is broad and blonde, his eyeliner thick and his ears pierced with gold hoops. Above the bustle of the exiting patrons, Taekwoon can't hear them, but Hakyeon appears to be on his tiptoes whispering up into the bartender's ear. The bartender nods and points backstage. Hakyeon quickly comes back over.

"Wonshik says he may have seen him earlier. He thinks that he may have seen your friend going backstage." Hakyeon looks worried. Taekwoon  _ is  _ worried. That should've been the first place he guessed and he knows exactly what Jaehwan is trying to do.

He needs to get out of here. If Jaehwan finds the twins he'll bring them to Taekwoon and Taekwoon isn't ready. He's not going to be ready ever, but he  _ really  _ doesn't want to meet more people when he feels like he might throw up any minute.

Taekwoon stands up with so much force he actually causes Hakyeon to stumble.

"Taek--" Hakyeon is cut off by Taekwoon abruptly walking towards the exit. His escape is harder than he imagined, as he still feels nauseous and is struggling to walk straight. His legs are like jelly, and all he feels like doing is laying down.

Which he almost does when he runs into the solid back of a person he didn't see approaching him.

"Taekwoon oh my god. I was so worried. Where did you go?" It's Jaehwan.

"'Scuse me." Taekwoon slurs, weakly pawing at Jaehwan's shoulder. Jaehwan starts talking to him, but the words are too hard to understand, so Taekwoon just leans his head against Jaehwan's broad shoulder.

When he finally stands upright and opens his eyes, he meets the gaze of someone he doesn't recognize.

Taekwoon is immediately drawn to the large doe eyes. They hold him captive, and his mouth goes dry, despite the water he had downed earlier. He licks his lips in an attempt to make it slightly easier to talk.

But it doesn’t. And it doesn’t escape the other man’s gaze, either. His eyes flick downwards to watch Taekwoon’s tongue, and hurriedly move upwards again, before sinking his teeth into his thick lower lip.

“I-- wow.” is all Taekwoon says. The man’s cheeks flush slightly, a small smile adorning his face. His hair is quite long, Taekwoon notices. Not ridiculously long, but just enough to frame his cheeks.

“Taekwoon,” Jaehwan clears his throat. “Um, this is Youngmin, and that’s Kwangmin. They were performing on stage earlier.”

_ Kwangmin. _

“Yeah, I… I remember.” The sick feeling returns to his stomach. “Jaehwannie I really want to go home, I don’t feel well.”

His eyelids are heavy, and he gives into the urge to close them, and thumps heavily against Jaehwan's shoulder, finally relaxing as his body blacks out.

\--------

Taekwoon has a dreamless sleep that night.

But when he wakes up, his head is pounding and his heart is heavy.

He also has a lot of notifications.

Some of them are his usual notifications, that he has posts on twitter that were liked, or that it’s supposed to be sunny today. He clears them after a small glance. The rest of them are texts. A few of them are from Jaehwan. The rest are from an unknown number.

**_Jaehwan_ **

_ Hey when you wake up i’ll be gone _

_ I’m out with youngmin so dont panic _

_ Dont sleep all day tho _

_ Taekwoon he’s so pretty im swooning _

_ How did i make it without him all these years _

Taekwoon has to resist the urge to gag.

_ I also gave Kwangmin ur # _

Oh no.

_ Hope u dont mind _

He minds. He minds a lot.

_ He was worried about u last night _

Taekwoon feels his heart tug a bit in his chest. Kwangmin worried about him. It seemed to be a fairly common theme in what little relationship they had.

**_Taekwoon_ **

_ I’m awake. You can just send everything in one text, you know. _

_ …. _

_ Have fun with him, you deserve it. _

All that’s left is the messages from the unknown number, which is not so unknown anymore.

**_???_ **

_ Hey, u doing alright? You were really sick last night _

_ O shit its kwangmin btw _

_ U know _

_ The twin guy that u met last night _

Taekwoon groaned inwardly. He texts just like Jaehwan. Is Jaehwan sure he took the right one?

**_Taekwoon_ **

_ Hello Kwangmin. I’m fine. _

**_Kwangmin_ **

_ Great! Jaehwan told youngminnie and i about you last night. He was rly hyping u up _

_ Quite a wingman u got there _

**_Taekwoon_ **

_ I don’t need him to “hype me up”. _

**_Kwangmin_ **

_ He did mention u were prickly lol _

_ Anyway i was rly excited to meet u _

_ Ur a lot cuter than what my imagination could conjure up _

Taekwoon inwardly feels dumb at how quickly his cheeks flush pink.

**_Taekwoon_ **

_ …. _

_ Thanks. _

_ I don’t think you’ll like me as much as you think you will. _

And as much as it hurts to say, he knows he’s right. Everyone leaves him eventually; except Jaehwan, for some reason, but there’s always an exception to the rules.

**_Kwangmin_ **

_ Ur right! _

_ Hopefully i’ll like u even more ;) _

Taekwoon feels like screaming into his pillow.

**_Kwangmin_ **

_ I think we should meet up! _

_ Since u know _

_ I had to wait twenty years to meet u and then u passed out _

**_Taekwoon_ **

_ Absolutely not. _

**_Kwangmin_ **

_ Ouch. Harsh. Any particular reason why? _

**_Taekwoon_ **

_ I already told you. You’re not going to like me. _

**_Kwangmin_ **

_ You’re not even going to give me a chance? _

_ We’re soulmates, dont u think i’d like you at least a little? _

_ If you’re anxious, we don’t have to hang out in public! _

_ I can just come over? Or you can come over? _

_ Or if i make you anxious, we can just go to a cafe?? _

Taekwoon almost wants to give in because of how hard Kwangmin is trying. But he can’t. He won’t let the one person who is supposed to love him unconditionally meet him and realize Taekwoon’s not all he’s cracked up to be.

**_Taekwoon_ **

_ No. _

But it doesn’t deter Kwangmin at all.

**_Kwangmin_ **

_ Okay well how about we just video chat _

_ Call??? _

_ Can we at least text??? _

_ You don’t have to text back!!! I’ll just text you if u want _

_ …. _

_ Okay, i get it. _

_ Im sorry. I know im annoying _

_ I’ll just leave you be. _

_ Can i text you tomorrow? _

The reaction is immediate. Taekwoon almost gives in just from the sheer amount of guilt that he feels. He turns his phone face down and groans, and subconsciously turns to face his desk, where his book is sitting. He sighs loudly before turning his phone back over.

**_Taekwoon_ **

_ Fine. Text me a location to a cafe and I’ll see you there tomorrow at 2 pm. _

\-------

This was a bad idea. How did he let himself be coerced into going out?

Oh, right. It was because his soulmate is convinced that  _ he’s  _ the annoying one.

It’s 2:05 and Taekwoon is starting to feel anxious about even showing up. He arrived here ten minutes early, simply because it’s in his nature to do so. He’s officially been waiting on Kwangmin for fifteen minutes.

Maybe he realized that Taekwoon really wasn’t what he wanted. The thought makes Taekwoon wince inwardly, his heart heavy. Maybe… just maybe, there’s a small part of him that hopes that he is what Kwangmin wants. They’re soulmates, right? He has to be.

“Oh my god I’m sorry--” It’s Kwangmin. He sounds out of breath and he’s seven minutes late.

“You’re late.” Taekwoon cuts in.

Kwangmin fiddles with the hem of his shirt. “I know.. I’m really sorry I just… I’m usually just late because of how I am as a person. I was really excited to come, I promise!”

He looks earnest enough, so Taekwoon lets it slide.

"Um, anyway," Kwangmin continues, "Why don't we go inside the cafe? It's a bit cold outside."

Taekwoon offers a noncommittal noise in response, and allows himself to be led inside the cafe.

Surprisingly enough, he doesn't think he's actually been to this cafe before; which is big, because he's been to a lot of them. But just as everyone does, he has his favourites and tends to frequent them more often to avoid change.

“Do you like it?” Kwangmin looks at him, worried written into his soft features. “Minwoo and I go here sometimes. I mean, we did. Once he met his soulmate we stopped hanging out as much. But it’s okay, I’m not mad at him. I understand. I probably would’ve done the same thing if I had met you sooner.”

Ignoring the twisting feeling in his gut and the pink flush to Kwangmin’s cheeks, he finds himself asking, “Who’s Minwoo?”

“Ah, he’s my best friend. But let’s just talk about something else. I tend to ramble when I’m nervous.”

Taekwoon understands. He’s been told by Jaehwan and his parents that he mumbles when he’s nervous; assuming he doesn’t shut down first.

They fall into an awkward, but not uncomfortable silence. It doesn’t last long.

“So… how long have you known Jaehwan? Is he your best friend? I saw him a lot in my book.. I mean, I assume it was him?” Kwangmin plays with the button on his jacket while talking. “The faces in my book are always really blurred out, but I always knew which one was you.”

“What does your book look like?” Taekwoon asks, rather than answering the questions that Kwangmin has so thoughtfully provided.

“Mine? Uh, I guess it’s like a dark purple? The binding is black. Now that I’ve met you, it makes a lot more sense. You look a lot like what the book looks like.” He replies vaguely. Taekwoon tilts his head, but doesn’t ask for him to elaborate. “I’m sorry, that’s probably so vague. I have no idea what I’m talking about, I just want you to like me so much.”

The fact that Kwangmin is almost as nervous as he is makes Taekwoon’s heart melt a little, and a small smirk graces his lips. “I could say the same.”

Kwangmin’s doe eyes get impossibly rounder and he looks startled at Taekwoon’s sudden change in demeanor. “What do you mean?”

“Well my book is a loud red with a gold binding. You remind me of it.” Taekwoon teases. Kwangmin lets out a small laugh and goes back to fiddling with his jacket.

“You used to hate it, didn’t you?”

Taekwoon looks down into the drink that appeared in front of him at some point, and wishes desperately that he could melt into it.

“Yes.” he starts, his tone thick. “I did.”

Kwangmin’s lip wobbles so minisculely that Taekwoon almost misses it. Almost.

“But I don’t anymore. I don’t… I don’t think I ever truly did. I didn’t hate you. I hated the idea that I couldn’t be content without another person. I just wanted to be happy with myself first. I didn’t like that you might see parts of me I wasn’t ready to look at myself.” He pauses, taking the time to put his spoon in his coffee for no reason other than he could now anxiously stir it around. “Jaehwan is my best friend, yes. He helped me find you. He’s very special to me and I’m really happy that he finally found the soulmate he’s been desperately searching for for years. I only hope that Youngmin is as nice to him as he deserves.”

And then there’s silence.

“I… see. Well, I’ve always been told I’m nothing if not persistent.” Kwangmin offers timidly. “I was just hoping I’d get through to you eventually.” He finally removes his hands from his jacket and sets them on the table, where they lay flat. Taekwoon notes how his nails are a bit chewed up, and that his fingers are long and slim. “Youngmin will treat Jaehwan really well, I promise. Youngmin was looking for him too.”

Finally, Taekwoon decides that his coffee has been stirred enough, and lays his hands on the table, his fingertips barely brushing the other’s. He looks up to find Kwangmin gazing at him inquisitively, eyes scanning his face with worry, all while Taekwoon feels like he’s going to pass out from holding his breath trying to look him in the eyes. He feels the urge to ask something, like, ‘were you looking for me, too?’, but his heart squeezes painfully imagining that the answer might be  _ no _ .

Instead, Kwangmin smiles slowly at him, giving him all the answer he needs.

\------

Sitting on the couch with Kwangmin's head in his lap quickly becomes one of Taekwoon’s new favourite past times. Running his fingers through the silky brown locks soothes his nerves in a way that therapy and medication never have. He really likes Kwangmin's hair long, the way it frames his high cheekbones and bounces with his overly animated movements makes Taekwoon's heart feel light. The way it curls up after a shower or how mussy it gets after a nap sends Taekwoon's heart swooping into his stomach. Kwangmin wants to cut it. And as much as Taekwoon disagrees with the idea, he's pretty sure he'd like it short too.

Although he's spaced out, Taekwoon knows Kwangmin is probably in the middle of a story about  _ Minwoo _ , Kwangmin's supposed best friend whom Taekwoon has yet to meet in the flesh. They've never met, and yet Taekwoon feels like he knows Minwoo on an uncomfortably intimate level, thanks to Kwangmin's inability to filter his own thoughts and words.

"Kwangles," his voice is soft, the pet name rolling off without hesitation. Kwangmin immediately stops talking and looks up at Taekwoon with large eyes. "You're so pretty."

Kwangmin's lips part in reply, and then close, before opening again. His cheeks flush a soft pink, and it makes an uncomfortable warmth spread to Taekwoon's abdomen.

"Sh." Taekwoon pinches the other's lips together, a small playful smile on his own. "I didn't want a soulmate… but… I'm glad that if I had to have one, it was you. You're so pretty and understanding and… I've never felt as human as I do with you. I feel comfortable with you, I don't get drained like I do with others."

Kwangmin's eyelids flutter shut, and an exasperated but fond sound escapes his mouth. "You're going to be all sappy like that, and you're still not gonna let me kiss you, huh? What kind of torturous--"

"You can." The words escape before Taekwoon can think twice about them. The rest of Kwangmin's complaint hangs in the air as his eyes reopen to gawk at the former.

"What? I must've misheard because it almost sounded like--"

"Y-you can kiss me, if you want." Taekwoon feels the anxiety clawing at his stomach when he speaks, but he forces it back down. "I'm… it's okay now."

Kwangmin narrowly avoids knocking their heads together with how quickly he sits up. “You mean it?”

Taekwoon nearly groans. “Please just kiss me already, I’m really embarrassed.”

And he does. His lips are soft. So soft. So pleasant. They make Taekwoon’s brain stop, and for a minute, he forgets to even try reciprocating.

“Hey, I know I’m not a good kisser, but I hope I’m not so bad that you don’t even kiss back,” Kwangmin chuckles, but Taekwoon can hear the nervous edge to his voice.

“My brain stopped for a second.” Taekwoon replies honestly, causing Kwangmin to chuckle again.

“I’m glad the feeling is mutual.”

And then their lips meet again, more passionately this time. Kwangmin moves as close as possible, his hands gripping the fabric of Taekwoon’s shirt tightly. Taekwoon is less aggressive, but just as eager. Neither of them are experienced, and it shows; but Taekwoon thinks that maybe that’s why he likes it so much. He doesn’t have to be an expert in anything to impress Kwangmin. It makes him feel safe. Feel okay. Kwangmin is safe.

When they finally pull apart, Taekwoon opens his eyes to find Kwangmin staring at him thoughtfully.

“How was it?” Taekwoon finds himself asking.

Kwangmin’s lips curl up in a smile, his eyes twinkling when he laughs. “It was great. Even better than I’d hoped it would be.”

Taekwoon knows that tone of voice. “But..?” He presses.

Kwangmin swipes his tongue over his bottom lip and swings his leg over Taekwoon’s lap, straddling him and effectively trapping him on the couch. Not that he minds. “But I think we should practice more. A lot more.”

Taekwoon finds himself smiling. “Okay.”

But they don’t get to, because at that moment, the front door swings open and in his panic, Taekwoon shoves Kwangmin off of him and onto the floor.

“We’re homeeeee~” Jaehwan sing-songs. Taekwoon hears a laugh.

Kwangmin is laughing. Everything is okay.

Everything is going to be okay.

\-------

Mornings are always the hardest, Taekwoon thinks. The sun blaring in his eyes through the thin curtains. The feeling of having to go through the day. Trying to even summon the strength to leave the warmth of the bed. All of it a horrible, relentless cycle.

But one thing never changes.

He’s not beautiful when he sleeps. Not in the slightest. And yet… Taekwoon doesn’t care.

He’s not really sure how or when it happened, but Kwangmin has become a constant in his dull life. He makes everything feel okay, like everything will be alright, even if it feels like it’s not. Even though he’s noisy and sometimes more than Taekwoon feels he can handle…

He finally realizes he doesn’t mind not being alone anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> This ship is literally me and my friend trying to find the two most opposite people on the planet, and put them together. Thus, Kwangmin and Leo as a ship, was born. I've been working on this fic on and off for about a year and a half, and finally got around to finishing it. I hope you enjoyed!


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